Well you're choices is DIY a fan system or slap a AIO hybrid cooler at this point. Buying things that aren't fully functional isn't necessarily a mistake, overpaying for it certainly is.
Assuming BIOS flashing was disabled and BIOS is not compromised (appears to not be from the article), it appears you could recover the hardware by switching to legacy BIOS boot and deleting all secure boot keys. However, the entire contents of...